In the glossy, veneered universe that is Keeping Up with the Kardashians, photoshop is a given. “Show us the unedited ones,” reads a comment on Kim Kardashian’s post; a customary refrain glimpsed on the Instagram feeds of the Kardashian-Jenner clan. Another states succinctly: “Fake.” Comments like these tell us everything: there is nothing realistic about the E! Network series. Instead, audiences are fed an aspirational, unattainable way of life that is further showcased via the cast’s social media platforms, where imperfections such as wrinkles and acne are erased at the tap of a button, teeth are whitened with a swipe of a finger and love handles are made non-existent. And it seems no one is exempt from the all-powerful photoshop—not even children.
Case in point: Khloé Kardashian. The business owner and socialite came under fire this April after she allegedly placed filters on her daughter that altered her skin tone and facial structure.
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“Look at it this way, there is the harmless filtering and editing that people may perform on their own photos for the portrayal of a certain look. Then, there is the use of heavy photoshop on their children’s photos. On one hand, it is about staying true to one’s perspective of beauty standards. But this begs the question: should these same standards be applied to one’s children?” questions Dr Shawn Ee, a clinical psychologist at The Psychology Practice.
Nip and tuck
It is a fair point to make. In most cases, parents are who are editing photos of themselves and their kids probably want their offspring to adhere to a specific beauty standard. But doing this simply reflects the parents’ own hang-ups and insecurities. What is concerning, however, is the message it sends to impressionable adolescents.
“When parents engage in this, it sends an implicit message to the child that they are not good enough as they are. This can create a belief in the child that they need to appear perfect to be accepted by others, fostering low self-esteem or anxiety,” elucidates Dr Ooi Sze Jin, a clinical psychologist and founder of A Kind Place. “Psychologically, children who grow up with this mindset may develop body image issues. Socially, they might become more comfortable hiding behind screens, where they can present a curated version of themselves rather than engaging in real-life interactions where their true appearance is visible.”
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To examine the rationale behind this behaviour is to accept that it goes beyond parents trying to project their own beauty ideals onto their children. Other factors do come into play, such as a parent’s cultural background and experiences. “For example, if they have undergone or witnessed discrimination, they may believe that by altering their child’s appearance through photoshop, they are protecting them from potential criticism or embarrassment,” states Dr Annelise Lai, a clinical psychologist at The Other Clinic.
It is a line of thought that Tian Jin, a 25-year-old marketing executive, is familiar with. “My mother photoshops all our family photos to make my complexion lighter,” she divulges. “It stung a lot more when I was a child, but the older I got, the more I understood. My mother moved from China to be here, where there is a strict set of standards as to what constitutes as beautiful. It is her understanding that meeting this criteria will afford me more advantages in life, such as better job opportunities and wider social connections. It is hard to begrudge her for wanting me to have a better life than she did.”
Mirror, mirror
All things considered, being able to grasp the reasoning behind a parent’s actions doesn’t lessen the mental distress it imparts upon children. According to a report by the Mental Health Foundation, body dissatisfaction is linked to depressive symptoms, anxiety disorders and a higher likelihood of suicidal thoughts.
“Developmentally, adolescents are impressionable and do not yet have the mature capacity to differentiate the issues of their internal versus their superficial outside world. The younger they are, the more blurred this distinction is,” explains Ee. “They usually start off with concrete thinking and consider most issues in binary ways. So, if my parents are choosing to photoshop images of me without acne, there may be an assumption that my parents are not happy with my face. This contributes heavily to one’s sense of defectiveness as well as shame.”
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Ultimately, it should be noted that the responsibility of addressing, and vanquishing, this phenomenon lies with parents. “Children should feel encouraged to express their preferences regarding their digital presence. Parents can start by asking how they feel about their edited images, for one,” says Lai. “Children should also be made to feel comfortable if they want their photos to focus on the non-appearance aspects of their life, like fun moments or hobbies.”
And of course, the most effective way to broach and subdue this issue is to lead by example.
“Parents can model self-acceptance as children often mimic their parents’ behaviours. When parents embrace their own imperfections and avoid excessively editing their own images, it sends a powerful message that authenticity is valued and encouraged,” Lai muses. “After all, children will not grow up confident if parents do not display a radical acceptance towards their offspring and themselves.”
Vogue Singapore’s November ‘Nurture’ issue is now out on newsstands and available online.
