Qatrisha Zairyah recalls first feeling at home when she joined a dance group in her late teens. Fresh out of school, she auditioned for a voguing troupe called Voguelicious, which fused hip-hop with street dance. What she uncovered at the end of that journey, however, was a rhythm of her own. “It was hard because I was still living with my parents, so I had to sneak out dressed as a boy. Then, I’d change,” Qatrisha shares. “I realised this was what I wanted: to put on make-up, wear women’s clothes, dance and express myself, surrounded by people who felt the same way.”
Today, the 33-year-old pageant queen and fashion adviser holds a boundary-breaking title as the first transgender woman to make the top five finalists at Miss Universe Singapore (MUS) 2024, marking a historic moment in the pageant’s 70-year history. This milestone coincided with a major shift in the competition’s parameters, as the organisation opened it up to Singaporean citizens upwards of 18, including those who are married, divorced or have children. Qatrisha, by then a seasoned competitor in international pageants around the world—most notably clinching third runner-up at Miss Star International in Spain and first runner-up at Miss International Queen, the world’s largest beauty pageant for transgender women in Pattaya, Thailand—took a leap of faith, encouraged by close friends.
“It was the first time I joined a major pageant in Singapore. I signed up, went to the audition and I was so scared. There were about 40 or 50 women who applied. I wasn’t sure what it was going to be like,” she notes. Driven by a mission to advocate for transgender representation, gender equality and women of all backgrounds, Qatrisha immersed herself in nearly a month of judging, gracing three catwalk categories, delivering a performance and engaging in a question-and-answer segment. The pièce de résistance came in the form of her final gown, a magnificent silver made-to-measure creation with hand sewn detailing, designed by Thai atelier Gracemae Bangkok. It wasn’t long before an outpouring of love and support for her came rushing in.
At 1.77m, with cascading curls and a luminescent smile, Qatrisha is a vision of poise and elegance. There’s an innate grace about her, a quiet charm that stirs with glimmers of ardour as she speaks about the beginning of her journey. “When I was young, my mother was a pageant queen,” she shares with a smile. “She competed in a small pageant and finished as the second runner-up. She showed me a picture of herself from that time and she looked so beautiful. I suppose it’s in my genes to be on stage and showcase what I’m capable of. It was a big achievement—for me and for those who fought to give me this opportunity.”
Qatrisha, who is the third of six siblings, speaks fondly of growing up with her family. Her mother, a homemaker, and her stepfather, a dispatch driver, instilled love and care in their household. She reflects on transformative milestones in her life: being picked on in secondary school, finding a loyal and supportive group of friends during national service, and eventually meeting the man she would go on to marry. When Qatrisha turned 21, she was legally able to transition and she took the leap to do so, starting with hormone therapy. “It was time to become the person I truly wanted to be. I had really short hair, but I decided to try hair extensions to step outside my comfort zone. When I saw the change, I thought, ‘ This is me’. A few years later, I underwent my breast augmentation. Then came my full sex reassignment surgery. After that, I finally felt like myself.”
It was also around this time that Qatrisha moved out of her parents’ home. Struggling to gain understanding from her family—a situation, she shares, that led to increasing tension over time as she began to embrace her identity as a woman—she made a painful decision. It was born out of necessity as she began her transition—one she felt was crucial to the pursuit of her sense of self. However, this did not come without its struggles. Paying $700 a month for a room, she found herself barely able to afford rent. She describes this as a reality for many transgender individuals seeking shelter and, in many cases, survival. She looks back on this time as deeply challenging and isolating, especially due to her estrangement from her mother. “I felt so sad because my mother is very understanding. She knows her children well and we couldn’t hide anything from her. Even though we were far apart, we were still close at heart.”
“I want to pursue the dreams I’ve been chasing. I’m passionate and determined enough to make it happen. Whatever I do in life, I want to create a legacy.”
The experience resulted in Qatrisha’s deep commitment to the organisation Home for a Change, which helps marginalised individuals secure shelter—a cause she has ardently championed throughout her journey.
“After a few years away from my family, I returned as a woman for my eldest brother’s wedding. When I showed up, my whole family—my aunts, long-lost cousins and other relatives—were shocked. But some cousins and aunts made me feel at ease. They welcomed me with open arms, saying, ‘ Come sit with us’. It was a warm, engaging experience that allowed me to get close to my family again.”
Although Qatrisha had to create her own roadmap from scratch, she lights up when she speaks of her heroes. “Amy Tashiana,” she nods, referring to one of Singapore’s most well-known transgender models. “I consider her a godmother. She sees me as she was and feels it’s time for me to continue the legacy she created.” It’s the spirit of love, belief and support that has propelled her to create a route of her own, paved by the bricks of her pageantry dreams, despite the odds. She looks back on a time when she turned to YouTube videos to learn all she could—from speeches to walks to posture. Funding it independently, including flights and outfits, she set off for her first international pageant.
“I would watch all the Miss Universe icons I looked up to. I wanted to follow their journeys. I see pageantry as a platform to advocate for the causes I believe in and raise awareness about important issues. It has given me invaluable visibility in society. It’s a powerful platform that allows me to be a voice for my community.”
As she settles into life after MUS, Qatrisha has her sights set on what’s ahead. She shares her dream to walk at international fashion weeks and to take on a trajectory that is experimental.” Fashion means a lot to me. In my community, we see fashion as a way to express our inner selves. It allowed me to step outside my comfort zone and become who I am. It’s a special form of art and expression.” She shares some big changes that have happened lately, with her divorce being at the forefront of one of the biggest shifts in her life. Wrapping up our conversation, she gives a knowing smile. “My resolution for 2025 is to be determined and be who I truly am. I want to pursue the dreams I’ve been chasing. I’m passionate and determined enough to make it happen. Whatever I do in life, I want to create a legacy.”
Photography Zantz Han
Styling Bryan Ho
Hair Marc Teng using Goldwell Professional
Make-up Wee Ming using Burberry Beauty
Manicure Ann Lim using Shellac from CND
Photographer’s assistant Michelle Yap
Stylist’s assistant Helaine Ercia
Special thanks to Enfinite Studio
Vogue Singapore’s January/February ‘Resolution’ issue is now out on newsstands and available online.
